Hm.
I think…
I deserve love. Maybe I just send mine in the wrong direction. I’ll project it toward myself for a while, ’til someone comes along who can appreciate it.
I think…
It’d be nice to be made to feel like I’m special. Men rarely do anything requiring any thought when it comes to me- and I wonder why that is… I have a friend who takes girls out on expensive dinners, listens to them when they mention their favorite movies or shows or flowers, and then surprises them with that very thing. Just once I’d like to be well and truly pleasantly surprised by a thoughtful gesture from a man. Heck, it doesn’t even need to be a surprise- just thoughtful. I’ve never gotten flowers, never a cute note or email- and forget clever date ideas (well, I think Vegas with Chris counts. That was extremely cool, and I felt incredibly special- so there you go).
I was told this evening that guys treat different girls differently- which they should… but what about me says,” Yeah, I’d love to eat Taco Bell and watch some movie you bootlegged from the internet in my own home. How sweet.”
That’s the version of romance I get. Is it that guys just don’t feel like they should bother trying as hard to get me and keep me? Is it that they think I don’t know any better?
Disconcerting stuff, that is.
When I was dating regularly, it was always dinner-and-a-movie, or dinner-and-a-show. I just want to find someone with the balls, the sense of adventure, and perception to mix things up a bit and do something truly unique. When I say, “Let’s go to the fair!” or “Let’s pull over and jump in that bouncy castle!” or “Let’s take pictures of the World’s Pink-ist Pig Farm!” I want a man who won’t look at me with disgust, amazement, or confusion. Get out of the car, get out of your zone, and have fun with me.
I’m not talking first, second, or 5th date stuff here. It’ll take a while, and I understand that- but it has to happen.
I think it’s time for a new experiment. I’m going to be one of those quiet, occasionally giggly girls who never voices an opinion- basically the type of girls my guy friends date and then marry and impregnate. Let’s see what, if anything happens then…
…starting… now.
